On July 31st, 2001, an employee of ours, Ryan XXXXXX was killed as a result of injuries during an accident. Ryan was 19 years old and the son of an Assistant Project Manager who had been with the company for over 18 years. Here’s what happened as best as I could tell from investigating the accident.
Ryan was instructed to pick up scrap lumber left over from stripping concrete forms along the new pendant wall of the wharf we were building. The foreman left Ryan to bring the rigging equipment needed to remove a form. This form was 4’H X 24’W and is made of 3/4″ plywood with 4″ channel iron as strong backs. The approximate weight is 1100 lbs. When the foreman left Ryan, the bracing was in place. After approximately 10-15 minutes, the foreman returned to find Ryan under the form and unconscious. No pulse or breathing was detected, but CPR was administered immediately.
Ryan was pronounced dead on the scene approximately 1 hour later. The cause of death was determined by the Medical Examiner as Traumatic asphyxia due to severe chest compression. We were told that Ryan was probably knocked unconscious immediately and died shortly after that.
No one actually witnessed the accident. Everyone said that Ryan was a great worker whom everyone liked. My only conclusion, without witnesses, is that Ryan thought that he would help out by going ahead and stripping the bracing and piling it up with the other lumber. The braces were found under him in a neat pile. He was a good young man trying to do what he could to help out.
This makes the third time in my career that I have had to face a grieving parent. This is the first time that the parent was also a friend of mine. This was also the first time that the accident was fatal.
There are numerous lessons to be learned from this accident. Hindsight is not “20-20”; it’s much sharper and clearer than that. It’s more like x-ray vision. Every minute detail came sharply into focus. But I don’t want to take the time to discuss them now. I want to tell you about what this tragedy has meant to me. There are personal lessons learned that are just as important, and it is these that I want to share.
I cannot adequately express the anguish, guilt, rage, and other emotions that have gone through my mind in the last two weeks. Two days after the accident, Ryan’s father returned to the site and told 5 of the managers and myself that we should not feel guilty. While we all stood in a group hugging this friend and co-worker, weeping so hard it was difficult to breathe, his father told us that we were good friends. Ryan’s father first told us that we must never forget his son. He said that he and his wife wanted us to know that Ryan had told them that he was having the time of his life. Ryan told them that he felt like a man living independently and working on something meaningful. And then, before the grief took his breath away again, he asked us to finish the job. He said that his son would have wanted us to finish the job because that’s what construction is all about.
For three days after the accident, I could not predict nor stop the tears, the gut-wrenching sense of guilt that overwhelmed me without notice. You see, I was scheduled to go and conduct an audit at the project the week before the accident occurred. I remember telling myself, at the time, that I could skip this one because I was too busy and things were going so well.
On the Monday after the accident, I conducted a safety meeting at the job site. We started by telling all of them what our investigation had determined to be the cause of the accident. We had a prayer service, and then a co-worker asked to read a poem that he had written. With his voice cracking, he read the poem. It was one of the most powerful poems I’ve ever heard. We told the crew (about 60 people) what his father had told us. Never forget Ryan, not to feel guilty, his son saying that he was having the time of his life, and to finish the job. The emotions in the room were so strong it was almost visible, a nearly tangible thing. After a moment, we took a break to give everyone some time to come to terms. After the break, we went back to work. Trying to fulfill our promise… Never forget and finish the job.
Our client had ordered that we could not start work again until we reviewed our entire safety program with all the employees and resubmitted it. Nearly every Hazard Analysis that we covered had two hazards in common, Struck By and Caught Between. I was fortunate to be surrounded by others who understood just how difficult it was to say those words over and over again. Many tears fell that day. Somehow we made it, though, the crew was great, and we came out of it with a better safety program.
I flew home Tuesday night. Wednesday morning was the memorial service. Over three hundred people attended Ryan’s memorial service. Probably half of those attending were under 20 years old. Every one of them had stories to tell about him. How he had a zest for life, and how he had taught each of them something about living life to its fullest. The church was already full when I arrived, so I sat in the balcony looking down on a friend and his wife who no longer had a son, and their daughter who no longer had a big brother. Once again, the thoughts of “It’s my fault” tore my breath away. My wife held me while the thoughts of guilt raged within me. You see my son was at home waiting on his Dad to come home. My friend’s son was no longer there waiting on his dad to come home.
I have stopped and gone for a walk three times while writing this letter. I hope that all of you will bear with my long-winded approach to telling you about this. But there are some things that must be experienced and then told.
I have tried to explain the emotions involved. I can’t even begin to describe how completely exhausted I feel. The emotional drain, combined with the travel, and the desire to set an example for others to follow. Through it all, I had felt that I was the one person in this company whom everyone, including the President of our company, looked to when the news came. I was the one who notified the senior managers. I was the one who had to try and outline our next steps, what to do, and who would do it. I struggled to maintain control while I witnessed one of the strongest men I’ve ever known (our president) weep while telling a friend of 20 years over the phone that his son had been killed. That day I told myself that I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t take the pain of someone else getting hurt on a job I was responsible for. There was no way that I could bear this weight ever again. After completing the day, and making travel arrangements to go to the job site, I went home.
And there is where God gave me the strength and resolve to get the job done. My son, Michael who is five years old, was playing with his toys. His favorite toys. Construction equipment, cranes, dump trucks, bulldozers, and all the others. I remembered that day not to far in the distant past when Michael had met me at the door as I arrived home from work, wearing my hard hat. He told me that he wanted to be a “struction co-worker”, because that’s what his Dad did. As I watched him play that night, while I struggled to hold back tears, he was happily building his new world. I gave thanks to God that he had shown me why I must continue. What can make a parent more proud than to have a child who, because of his/her pride in the parent, wants to follow in those same footsteps?
At the job site the next morning, I heard seasoned managers state that we could not afford to hire the inexperienced ever again. Our business was too dangerous and there were to many uncontrollable conditions.
Upon hearing this I told those at the table the story of my son, wearing my hat and saying that he wanted to work in construction when he was grown. I told them of my pride and sense of accomplishment that my son would want to do what I did. What followed lifted my heart and spirits, stories about their children, it would seem that there were other children who wanted to be in construction. Then we talked about how proud our friend had been that his son had worked with us. I told them that as professionals we had a duty to make our profession safe enough for each other’s children. That if we adopted the attitude of only working the experienced and not taking the responsibility of teaching the young and making the work as safe as possible, surely our profession would die.
I wanted to share this with each of you. Some of you are safety professionals, some of you are construction professionals, and some are family and friends.
I hope that my experience and this letter have touched you and that you will ponder this question. What am I doing to make my chosen profession good enough for my kids?
I thank God for his strength and the wisdom that he has given me. Through Him I have accepted this tragedy and I am able to cope. I have also strengthened my resolve. While I was wallowing in guilt and self-pity, determined to leave this industry forever, one thought keep pushing through. If I leave, who will take my place? If I quit and run, who will make this industry safe enough for Michael? I am not perfect; I have discovered, yet again, during these last weeks that I don’t know all of the answers. Nor do I always know what’s best to do. But I have discovered one thing about myself. I truly love this profession that I have chosen. I love the people that make up this industry, those who are always ready… to get the job done.
I must also give thanks to another. Thanks, Dad. your love of this industry introduced me to a wonderful world. You made this industry good enough for me. I will try to make it good enough for your grandson.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this. God bless, and may you always get the job done!
Troy King